If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
now i know why i became what i already was.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
