out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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