Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Your cock deserves a montage
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
