we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Randomize
