What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
