I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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