Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
