maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
