Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
