They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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