the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
