I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
