i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
