His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
