somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Randomize
