the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
You pole danced in your parka.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
