I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
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You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
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The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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