it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
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