Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
