I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
