Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I didn't notice because vodka
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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