Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I love having hate sex.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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