You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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