They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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