then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
then he tried to convert me to islam
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
