Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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