I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
