Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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