how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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