Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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