he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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