dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
