You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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