The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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