I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Randomize