there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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