my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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