honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
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Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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