I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
don't judge my taste in strippers
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
