Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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