STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
