my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
