We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
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Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
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You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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