birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize