my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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