The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
