I'm going to jail i love you
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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