I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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