she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
