I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Can you bring me the toilet please
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
