Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
