Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
