bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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