So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
