Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
