I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
