I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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