should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Less talking, more tequila
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
