Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
