i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
That's how pantless uber rides happen
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
