Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
