would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
