i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
