I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
