sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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